Anonymous

[Sun 3 Feb, 14:34]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
Is there no happy stories out there to be heard - (20 replies)

Is there no happy stories of finding love, true love and living happy as any other normal couple once out of Cuba? Please tell me your happy story for a change....I want to know, I need to hear a true unembelished story (s). I know they exists, please share it with me....

Anonymous

[Sun 3 Feb, 14:45]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
1. they don't exist.



Anonymous

[Sun 3 Feb, 15:01]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
2. well

If you are asking then you probably already intuitively know you are being fooled. The majority of Cuban and foreigner relationships are based on an exchange of goods and or money for sex and sensual services.

There is no equality there upon which to base a normal love relationship in most cases. Due to the desperate Cuban economic situation many have become experts in giving foreigners what they want so the dance continues. One thing to notice is the large number of deluded people who post here and elsewhere about marrying their Cuban. They have usually spent little time with them and they are on some kind of resue trip for the most part. They have bought into it hook line sinker. Some of those relationships might last though you can't really say they work. The Cuban will often remain dependent on their foreign sponsor until they can stablilize themselves. Around that time the romance and all that was special starts to fade. The Cubans that stick around are the ones who still need to be supported or the ones that weren't so desperate to begin with.

IMHO

So ask yourself why you want to hear positive stories.
Do you want to feed your delusions ? Usually if we feel doubts it is for a good reason.

Anonymous

[Sun 3 Feb, 15:02]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
3. Sure they do

A woman where I work met her husband in Cuba 8 years ago and now are married and living together here in Canada for 5 years. So of course like everything else, good news doesn't get reported like bad news does.

Anonymous

[Sun 3 Feb, 15:43]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
4. different paradigms

you could ask yourself.... do ANY cross cultural relationships work where one partner is leaving his or her home or culture to be lost in their spouses. I live in California and could write a book on failed Mexican/Gringo relationships based solely on cultural diferences. It's a matter of different paradigms.

you other posters are jaded racists.

sfo

[Sun 3 Feb, 15:55]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
5. relationships

I personally know two Cuban/US relationships that are working. The first is an (U.S.) man who met and married a Cuban woman. The second is a (U.S.) woman who met and married a Cuban man (they all met in Cuba). Both couples now live in the U.S. The first couple has been married for about a year, and the second couple for about six months. So far, everything is working out well for both couples and they are all very much in love. Only time will tell. . I think both relationships are working because: 1) both couples are bi-lingual, 2) all the partners have similar educational levels. I also know of Cuban/foreign relationships which have not worked out because of unrealistic expectations (financial, sexual, cultural, etc.). There are both happy and unhappy endings.

Anonymous

[Sun 3 Feb, 17:17]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
6. To Poster @4

Since when is Cuban a race ? Justify what you mean
by others being racists you make no sense.

Yins

[Sun 3 Feb, 20:41]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
7. Is there no happy stories out there to be heard

Hi, ok here is a happy story, I went to Cuba about 5 years ago met a guy from the staff from the hotel that I was staying.
I went with my family, [mother, brother, my 2 kids and my ex-husband{already ex-husband} a this time] anyhow, once we got there all of us fell in love with the place not even an hour later, we met the staff we all became friends, hangout together for hours at the time, went to the bars with them had a great time.
Towards the end of the week I have notice that one of them was always with me and he was just so cute, needles to say that my last night in Cuba ,we had a wonderful encounter one of those from a movie, but no sex, I came home feeling great.
I called him back a week after and he told me that he had broken up with the girlfriend that he had at the time, I told him that I had broken up with mine, he was shocked since I never told him that I had one, I went back 3 months later I met his family drove across Cuba to meet them, very nice family, none of them ask me for anything we had wonderful week together spend every moment by my side and with the friends I had met before, to make a long story short I went back every 2 to 3 months.
Some of the trips with my children he learned to love my kids and to love me and I learned to love him, it was fascinating at times but very hard at others, since you will always have people who have been hurt and tell you the most horrible stories, but once I realized that I need it him as much as he need it me, I understood that I had to give 100% of me to the relationship and so did he, we got marry and in his way over he came no before he build a house in there ( he was already building it when I met him).
He want it to finish it to have a place to stay when he come back and visit.
Since then he learned to speak English and has work and what has come his way , he is now a very successful Dance teacher, he is finally bilingual ( I'm Spanish speaking myself ) so we are both bilingual, I was overweight he helped me to loose 85 pds, after 4 years of marriage we now have a child together I have lost again all the weight that I put because of the baby, he is wonderful with my children from my previous marriage and he is a romantic guy takes me out for dinner brings me flowers, writes me poems, we work out together, and we go back to Cuba every 6 months I go to my own house to go to, I have many friends there.
We are always helping our friends and his family and most of the time I am the one who wants to go to Cuba.
Now the most interesting part is that when I met him, I was 31 years old and he was 21 years old, no the age, no the distance, no the children from a previous marriage, no the economical differences, no the fact that he came here and met many younger woman, no the different culture ( I'm Spanish but no Cuban) none of this could stop our love not once I listen to people and their bad mouthing , don't you listen to anyone but your heart [ just one advice if you feel it in your heart it must be real.......... don't stop because you are afraid to get hurt the worst that could happened to you is that he or she breaks your heart and I'm sure it would not be the first time]. Good luck .


sfo

[Sun 3 Feb, 21:08]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
8. Gracias, Yins

Gracias, Yins, por tu cuento tan bonito. Me alegra mucho. Felicidades y que tengan una vida llena de amor y comprension.

Anonymous

[Sun 3 Feb, 21:19]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
9. Cuba is to love...

what indifference is to friendship. Cuba is a bad idea wrapped around paradise. It is a foul gerontocracy molesting a beautiful child. It is an agricultural eden that can't feed itself. Cuba is a scab-ridden junky, trying to decide how to support its habit now that Russia is closing the last of the bases that used to support Fidels unrealized promises. Cuba is a failed state that has postponed death by selling its soul to a failed socialist 5 year plan. Show me a socialist state that is a success and I will show you a european country that is coasting on its former strength, and flirting with disaster. A socialist nation that is successful is about as likely as a successful Islamic nation, neither can overcome the flaws inherent in their philosophies...

denver_mugwamp

[Mon 4 Feb, 05:39]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
10. Whoa, #9

There's no reason to hold back with this group. We're tough and used to the real nitty gritty. Why don't you tell us how you really feel?

The truth is usually somewhere in between.
Anonymous

[Mon 4 Feb, 08:38]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
11. #7

Finally a happy story! One that resembles what we are building together. Same circumstances in many areas. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Life is about taking risks, to take no risk can one say they lived life.
I listen to my heart, it is my life, my love, my hurt, my soul. At the end of the day I can say I lived life for all its good and bad, happy and sad. Now I live a life of complete happiness and fulfillment with my spouse who happens to be Cuban. We are completely happy beyond words.
4 years now and each day I wake looking forward to enjoying another day in this love.

Gracias a Dios, happiness forever #7 a la muerte.

Anonymous

[Mon 4 Feb, 11:08]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
12. Is there no happy stories out there to be heard

I've just married my Cuban boyfriend and as with any relationship I am 99% sure its right. Life is too short to let all those "what ifs..." slip by. If it doesn't work out then thats the way it was meant to be and all he got out of me was his plane ticket out of Cuba for a better life. My family have met him and are 100% behind me as are all my friends - I'm not stupid and I haven't gone into it with my eyes closed I know he could be using me but then that could happen with anyone, anywhere in the world. I'll let you know in a year's time how things are going.

All I can say is if it feels right, you are happy and not hurting anyone else then do it, for tomorrow you could be dead.

Anonymous

[Mon 4 Feb, 15:55]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
13. Well said

There is a post on another board asking for information about divorce of a cuban while still in Cuba. Nobody is responding, if there is so many bad stories you think their would also be a flood of repsonse for this request for information on how to... anyways, live life for the day, if you want it, take it, tommorrow is promised to nobody inc;luding Cubans

Anonymous

[Mon 4 Feb, 16:53]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
14. OK but Some People Are Blinded by Cuban Love

Nice to hear positive stories. I think the things to watch out for are whether you feel pressured to give money and whether you saw inconsistencies but don't want to admit it to yourself. Also a big age difference and no fluent language in common is a big hurdle for the long run. Most relationships I've heard of have a ten year or larger age difference. Adding up all the differences it may be easy for the first two years but the long terms gets murky.

People need to hear the negatives because the Cubans are very motivated to solve their problems the only way they believe they can. At least many young people believe they can with a foreigner. As long as you don't deny that aspect of the equation at least you are aware of their reality and possible motivations.

Anonymous

[Mon 4 Feb, 17:11]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
15. I lub u

When someone says from the heart I love you does it mean something different when they are from Cuba?

Cubanito100%

[Mon 4 Feb, 17:56]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
16. YO CUBAN!

I'm a Cuban living in Canada for the last 16 years, here I found the love of my life in Newfoundland, were are both very successful professionals but the most important thing of our lifes is our love, we have spent 13 years together and plan to spend many more until death do us apart...

Anonymous

[Tue 5 Feb, 00:18]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
17. to 100% cubanito

You are not 100% Cubanito. You speak English and live in Canada. Sorry, you've lost some of your cubanismo, so you are not that relevant to the point of the Original Poster. The unstated concern is: can I find true love with someone who doesn't have a dollar to their name, but says some really poetic things and makes me feel good ? Should I marry them and support them ? Do you think that would be a good idea ? If I read a lot of self help books about communication and building a relationship will that help bridge the fact that we have huge cultural, attractiveness, age, economic, educational, moral, and religious differences ?

get my drift 100% ?

Anonymous

[Tue 5 Feb, 01:10]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
18. Cubanito

16 years in Canada but thirteen years together, what happened to the three years?

Anonymous

[Tue 5 Feb, 08:13]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
19. Cubanito100%

To those who rush to judge...why are you so full of judgement and resetment? I'm not that is why I'm 100% Cuban and you are 0% Cuban...no matter how many times you visit Cuba, it will never enter your soul because your soul is already poisoned by your upbringing...I'm so sorry for you, my poor friend...
Love knows no borders or languages, if you have any doubt go to the library and check so cases in history, even a kingdom may not be enough to destroy love...sorry for all of those who will go through life without knowing what love is...remember that love and business are like day and night, may be we you understand that you will have a chance to love someone.

greslogo

[Tue 5 Feb, 09:47]
PST (Gumly Gumly -17)
20. Considering the

divorce rate in North America is somewhere over 50%, I would imagine that if half the Cuban/foreigner marriages fail, that would not be something to single out as abnormal.

A friend has been married to a Cubana for over two years. He met her in Cuba and they have both been living in the U.S. since their marriage. Speaking with him and mutual friends suggests that everything is still going well.


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